if i can run in heels then i can drive
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
