Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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