He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
