I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
