I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize