About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
