What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
