I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
