3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
