I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
