i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
