He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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