never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize