I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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