But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
