So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
