Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
