He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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