She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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