he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
