I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
