are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize