we're chasing vodka with high fives
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
