I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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