I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
