he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
