i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
