I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
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