Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
