K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
