i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
