Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
