chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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