WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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