so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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