If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
