Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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