But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
