He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We need to rekindle our bromance
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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