Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Let's paint friendship bongs
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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