Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
