He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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