walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
