I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
