Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
