Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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