I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
