He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
