Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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