Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
