his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
