and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
