Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
