Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
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