You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
