Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
