im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
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